Homemade Blue Cheese Dressing: A Tale of Love and Funk

I like to eat fowl smelling things.  So sue me.
Tempt me with some anchovies, oh yesss.  Woo me with your deviled eggs and I'm yours.  Tease me with your Gorgonzola, Roquefort and Cambembert, and I'm at your mercy.
When it comes to stinky, indulgent delight, it's hard to beat homemade blue cheese dressing.  My dad started this new-ish tradition for our Christmas gathering on my mom's side.  Instead of turkey, ham or more traditional holiday fare, we go for the gusto with some variation of grilled beef (standing rib roast this year), shrimp, and salad with homemade blue cheese dressing.  I look forward to all of it every year, but especially that blue cheese.  Let's make it a tradition for you too.

Homemade Blue Cheese Dressing
1 medium wedge danish blue cheese
1 cup mayonnaise (I use Dukes because I'm Southern through and through)
1 1/2 cup fat free greek yogurt (so we can have some dessert too)
2 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1 Tbsp Rice Wine Vinegar
1 good dashes hot sauce
1 scant Tbsp mustard (I used horseradish dijon, don't use yellow mustard)
1.5 tsp garlic seasoning
Juice of 1 lemon half
1/2 tsp fresh ground black pepper
Kosher salt to taste

In a large bowl, combine mayo with yogurt.  Crumble in your blue cheese, slicing it if you need to in order to make crumbling easier.  Use a spoon to stir in the cheese and break it up into smaller pieces.  We're going for big chunks and small crumbles for flavor and texture.  Stir in the rest of the ingredients and adjust seasonings to taste.  If you want to add a dash of cayenne, we could totally be best friends.  Let this sit in the fridge for at least four hours, but preferably overnight so the flavors can get to know one another.  You did it!  Congrats!

This dressing makes the simplest of salads amazing and satisfying.  Thanks, fat.  I love how you do that.  Now that I ate that for lunch, don't you think it's okay if I eat like four of the Maple Nutmeg Butter Cookies I am making for tomorrow's cookie exchange?  Too late, I already did.
More on that story... after the break.

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A Healthy Addiction? Garlicky Kale to Your Post-Thanksgiving Rescue

I'm not one of those people you're going to find saying, "oh, I'm SOOO addicted to exercise".  That doesn't mean I can't dream about it.  You're far more likely to find me eating some combination of bread and stuff that melts and saying "oh, I'm SOOO addicted to (insert bread and fat of the day)".  But in the past several months I've had a breakthrough.  I developed a healthy addiction!  It's kale.

Wait!  Don't leave!  Once I too was like you, thinking that kale, in all its ultra deep green roughness, could only be consumed comfortably after it had the Satan cooked out of it and had been covered in some sort of high sodium or high fat sauce to mask its overly healthy and virtuous taste.  And then, as it is known to do, Whole Foods (better known to some as Whole Paycheck) came to the rescue with its salad bar brimming with vegetables and toppings galore.  Of all the delectable delicacies in the salad bar, the garlicky kale was the crown jewel.  And then I was so cruelly betrayed.  I would sneak away to Whole Foods for lunch to have a rendezvous with G.K., and it was nowhere to be found.  Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, and I'm making garlicky kale from scratch.

Lucky for me, Brittany over at Eating Bird Food had the same addiction and did most of the leg work.  I doubled her recipe and doubled my pleasure.  The awesome thing about this salad aside from its delicious and addictive properties, is that it's even better the next day.  Definitely the only dressed salad I know of that can hold its own in the fridge a second day.  If you like Caesar salad, you're going to love this.

Garlicky Kale
(Recipe slightly adapted from Eating Bird Food)

1 bunch kale
1 1/2 Tbsp tahini
1 1/2 Tbsp lemon juice
1 Tbsp unfiltered apple cider vinegar
1 Tbsp Bragg's Liquid Aminos (sounds weird but it's like soy sauce or tamari.  Sub tamari in a pinch)
2 Tbsp nutritional yeast (an ingredient definitely worth stocking in your kitchen)
2 cloves of garlic, minced
Sesame seeds to taste for garnish (optional)

1.  Remove tough stems from the kale and tear into bite size pieces.
2.  Combine all the remaining ingredients except kale and sesame seeds in a blender (magic bullet is awesome for this) until smooth.  Pour over kale.
3.  Use your clean hands (sorry, this is going to be your best way to do this) to evenly distribute the dressing and rub it into the leaves, like you're giving it a well deserved massage.  Relax, kale, you're feeling a little stiff.
4.  Wash your grubby hands, weirdo, and shake some sesame seeds on your delectable health food before you start shoveling it in your pie hole like it was bread with melty fat.  If you can manage to wait to eat and let this sit in the fridge for an hour or two, you'll love it even more.  If not, strap on the ol' feedbag.

I like to make a meal of this when I know I'm eating pizza (bread and melty fat) for dinner later that day.  It's all about balance, or so they say.

This is great for impressing friends that think they don't like healthy food.  You sneaky devil.

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Jose the Dog and Butternut Squash Fries

One of my favorite parts of the week every week is going to spend Sunday evenings with my parents.  Jeremy and I corral Sampson into the car and head over for dinner.  It's always a challenge to keep Sam reasonably calm enough to not give Jose (the overly neurotic yet adorable chihuahua belonging to Mom and Dad) a massive stroke.  It's not as easy as it sounds.

Jose enjoying his throne after a romp in the snow last year.

Chicken wings were on the menu for dinner this Sunday, so I whipped up a batch of butternut squash "fries" and made a humungo salad.  And then I did something brilliant:

Using fries for croutons > using croutons for croutons.

Just look at this delicious mess.

Butternut Squash Fries

2 small butternut squash, peeled and seeds scooped out

1 to 2 Tbsp olive oil

Garlic powder

Chili powder

Sea salt and black pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.  Chop up squash into fry shaped pieces.  Spread out on baking sheet and drizzle with olive oil.  Sprinkle desired seasonings on top of fries.  You could do cinnamon and nutmeg here for a sweet version or really any combo.  I like my fries garlicky.  Use your hands to toss the whole mess together, evenly distributing oil and spices among the fries.  Bake for 45 minutes, flipping fries once halfway through.  If they aren't as crispy as you'd like, by all means leave them in a bit longer, but just make sure to check to make sure they aren't burning.  Serve with ketchup if desired or use as a topping on a salad like the one below.

Sunshine Salad

6 cups mixed greens or salad mix

1 large avocado cut into slices

2 handfuls dry roasted almonds

1/4 cup sliced sundried tomatoes packed in oil, drained

2 tangerines, peeled and segmented

1 handful butternut squash fries for each serving

2 Tbsp lemon tahini dressing or citrus vinaigrette for each serving

Layer all ingredients on top of the bed of greens except the dressing (add that after the salad has been plated).  This salad is so crunchy, bright and full of citrus.  I hope it makes you think of sunshine too.  

As for Jose, he made it through a night of having all his precious little toys (Moo, Squirrely, Chicktoria, Dolphie, Roo and Baby Hedgie) slobbered all over and dominated by Sampson.  And then the next morning after the threat was gone and he had reclaimed his possessions, he neatly gathered them into a pile and peed on each one.  He might need some doggie therapy, Mom.

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