A Healthy Addiction? Garlicky Kale to Your Post-Thanksgiving Rescue

I'm not one of those people you're going to find saying, "oh, I'm SOOO addicted to exercise".  That doesn't mean I can't dream about it.  You're far more likely to find me eating some combination of bread and stuff that melts and saying "oh, I'm SOOO addicted to (insert bread and fat of the day)".  But in the past several months I've had a breakthrough.  I developed a healthy addiction!  It's kale.

Wait!  Don't leave!  Once I too was like you, thinking that kale, in all its ultra deep green roughness, could only be consumed comfortably after it had the Satan cooked out of it and had been covered in some sort of high sodium or high fat sauce to mask its overly healthy and virtuous taste.  And then, as it is known to do, Whole Foods (better known to some as Whole Paycheck) came to the rescue with its salad bar brimming with vegetables and toppings galore.  Of all the delectable delicacies in the salad bar, the garlicky kale was the crown jewel.  And then I was so cruelly betrayed.  I would sneak away to Whole Foods for lunch to have a rendezvous with G.K., and it was nowhere to be found.  Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, and I'm making garlicky kale from scratch.

Lucky for me, Brittany over at Eating Bird Food had the same addiction and did most of the leg work.  I doubled her recipe and doubled my pleasure.  The awesome thing about this salad aside from its delicious and addictive properties, is that it's even better the next day.  Definitely the only dressed salad I know of that can hold its own in the fridge a second day.  If you like Caesar salad, you're going to love this.

Garlicky Kale
(Recipe slightly adapted from Eating Bird Food)

1 bunch kale
1 1/2 Tbsp tahini
1 1/2 Tbsp lemon juice
1 Tbsp unfiltered apple cider vinegar
1 Tbsp Bragg's Liquid Aminos (sounds weird but it's like soy sauce or tamari.  Sub tamari in a pinch)
2 Tbsp nutritional yeast (an ingredient definitely worth stocking in your kitchen)
2 cloves of garlic, minced
Sesame seeds to taste for garnish (optional)

1.  Remove tough stems from the kale and tear into bite size pieces.
2.  Combine all the remaining ingredients except kale and sesame seeds in a blender (magic bullet is awesome for this) until smooth.  Pour over kale.
3.  Use your clean hands (sorry, this is going to be your best way to do this) to evenly distribute the dressing and rub it into the leaves, like you're giving it a well deserved massage.  Relax, kale, you're feeling a little stiff.
4.  Wash your grubby hands, weirdo, and shake some sesame seeds on your delectable health food before you start shoveling it in your pie hole like it was bread with melty fat.  If you can manage to wait to eat and let this sit in the fridge for an hour or two, you'll love it even more.  If not, strap on the ol' feedbag.

I like to make a meal of this when I know I'm eating pizza (bread and melty fat) for dinner later that day.  It's all about balance, or so they say.

This is great for impressing friends that think they don't like healthy food.  You sneaky devil.

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Mango Habanero Salsa

I have something up my sleeve.  Thankfully, it's not a habanero.  But this awesome mango habanero salsa is part of it!  Stay tuned for the big reveal next Monday.  In the meantime, I'll tease you with a few hints.

Have you noticed a trend here?  You may have gathered that I enjoy Mexican food.  A LOT.  If you live in California (you lucky dog), you probably have access to some pretty darn tasty authentic Mexican.  If you live in Durham, NC, you can find some authentic Mexican food, but for the most part it's limited to food trucks, carnicerias (meat markets) and little hole in the wall spots that are pretty amazing if you can dedicate some time to making an adventure out of finding one.  And I hate to break it to you, but for the most part, you are not going to find truly authentic Mexican food (which can actually be quite healthy) at that Torrero's or Bandido's Mexican Restaurant downtown. 

One of the reasons I think Mexican food is so much fun is the crazy beautiful array of colors!  Check out this confetti-lookin' beauty:

Mango Habanero Salsa Fresca

Confession time:  I only used one habanero because I was a scared little baby.  You should use two.  I will certainly use two in my next batch, which I am making this very night.  Two batches in two days because I loved it just that much!  If you are feeding more than just a couple people, you might consider making a double batch.  Trust me, you will have no problem figuring out things to put it on.

Ingredients

1 mango, cut into a small dice

Juice of two limes

Pinch of sea salt

Small red onion, cut into a small dice

2 habanero peppers

2 handfuls fresh cilantro, chopped

First, you're going to want to deal with your mango.  If you've ever dealt with one, then you know the deal.  If not, let me give you a pointer or two.  Mangoes are not a straightforward fruit.  They are tricky and slippery little devils.  Peel your fruit for starters.  It should look like so-

Are you singing the "Rango" theme song while substituting the word "mango" for "Rango"?  Because you totally should.  It made my salsa better, and it can do the same for yours.  Try it- 

"Mang-o! Mang-OOO!"

Now you're ready for the tricky part.  Mangoes don't have a "pit," per se.  At least not in the way a peach or avocado does.  They just get really dense and fibrous and hard to cut in the middle.  This means you aren't going to get all the fruit off of it that you feel entitled to, and that's okay.  Know that it's frustrating for the rest of the world as well.  Just cut off what you can from the outsides, first in large slabs, then in smaller pieces as you get closer to the center.  Get what you can from it, then give the middle to some cool kid or messy adult to chew and suck on.  If they're feeling all Mexican about it, they'll squeeze some lime juice on it and dust it with chili powder because that's what all the cool kids do.  Dice your fruit and proceed to the next step.

Get out your latex gloves for some habanero handling.  No, I'm not joking.  If you do this with your bare hands because you think you have something to prove, then your proof of idiocy will be your burning hands that feel like you stuck them in to an unquenchable fiery furnace.  Enjoy that for the next several hours.

Cut the tops off those bad boys and strip them of their seeds, membranes and dignity.  If you like things a little spicier, feel free to leave some of the membrane in.  

Not only is the habanero one of the hottest peppers in the world, I feel it is also the cruelest.  Why?  Because it tastes so stinkin' fruity and delicious that you want to eat more of it, but you will be punished accordingly.  Give your charming and hateful pepper the fine dice treatment and toss it in a bowl with your diced mangoes.  Add your chopped red onion, cilantro and lime juice.  Add salt to taste.  Taste a couple times and be sure to add your salt a little at a time.  Like toothpaste, you can always add more, but you can't take it back.  You can eat this immediately, but it's going to be even more amazing after sitting in the fridge for a bit to let the flavors get to know one another.

Now, I highly recommend you do this with your salsa:

Toast one corn tortilla on a cast iron pan on your stove top or char it a little over a gas burner.

Mash half an avocado mixed with a squeeze of lime juice, a dash of hot sauce and salt with a fork.  

Top tortilla with avocado mash and a generous heap of your salsa.

Eat this standing up because there's no time to sit when it's this good and this fresh!

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Pesto Change-O!

Oh, now I remember why I don't watch horror movies!  Because they make me cry like a pathetic little scared baby.  In honor of Halloween, Jeremy and I decided to watch Season of the Witch while eating dinner and answering the door.  (Once, by the way.  We had only one group of trick or treaters.  Sad panda.)  It had Nick Cage in it- how bad could it be?  Pretty bad.  Like "release the demons and watch the plague eat peoples faces and turn them into zombies" bad.  Mmmm.  Hungry now?

Let's talk about pesto.  Our favorite pizza ever is the Cosmic Karma pizza at Mellow Mushroom.  It's this totally delicious swirl of regular pizza sauce and pesto sauce as the base, with toppings of fresh tomato, feta, and sun dried tomatoes that turn it into melty pizza bliss.  I can make pesto!  And you can too:

Ingredients
2 cups fresh basil
1/2 cup chopped parsley
2 large cloves garlic
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/2 tsp black pepper
2 tsp fresh lemon zest
3/4 cup raw walnuts or pine nuts (walnuts are cheaper, my friend)
1 tsp kosher salt

Blend all ingredients together until smooth.  Some people like it chunkier, and that's fine.  If you are into eating dairy, by all means dump at least 1/3 cup of parmesan cheese (use the good stuff, like parmigiano reggiano) into the mix.  This will make it thicker, so add more olive oil as desired.  Use as a topping for pizza, on fresh bread, mixed with pasta (or zucchini spaghetti) or mixed in with some ricotta and used in lasagna or eaten right of the dang spoon.  I chose to paint with mine.  Behold the artistry:

Finger painting for adults!  Wouldn't it be so festive if I smeared some on my face before answering the door for Trick or Treaters?  "Happy Halloween kiddos, from Swamp Thing's home to yers."  Oops, I just lost a reader.  Back to pizza construction.

I made swirls of my homemade pesto and jarred Roasted Red Pepper Tomato Sauce from Whole Foods (because it's Halloween and I'm not trying to be Martha Stewart tonight) onto my homemade pizza crust.  I made an easy spelt flour/regular flour crust that was okay but not my favorite, so I won't post the recipe this time.  But you could totally make it so much easier on yourself and use a premade refrigerated crust.  Please do yourself a favor and don't use one in a can.  I have never been to a pizza place that wouldn't sell me a ball of their unbaked dough for super cheap.  Definitely work up the courage to be a weirdo and do this.  Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, and many supermarkets also carry freshly made refrigerated or frozen pizza dough that is convenient, cheap and ready to go.  After you've painted your sauce(s) onto your blank canvas, it's time to start decorating.

Ours was festively decorated with thinly sliced onions and fresh red peppers, olives, capers, sun dried tomatoes, and local fresh goat cheese with herbs.  Jeremy's side had Cabot Seriously Sharp White Cheddar, and mine had the tablespoon I had left of my Daiya shredded vegan "cheddar" which I would totally recommend in a heartbeat.  I decided to let a few goat cheese crumbles mingle on my side since I am not trying to be a nazi about the whole no dairy thing.  Ten minutes at 425 degrees and dinner is ready and handheld.  Win!

We made short work of this pizza and totally demolished it.  I gave mine a generous sprinkling of nutritional yeast and it was so good Jeremy actually put "that weird stuff on the counter" on his seconds!  Why don't I make pizza more often?  Happy November!

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